Seeing the good in the bad
How just thinking about stress can help us see its silver linings
This article was originally published in the SPSP Character & Context Blog.
For many people, the COVID-19 pandemic was one of the most stressful times in their lives. People faced uncertainty about so many things, from worrying about getting sick just by touching groceries, to not knowing whether masks or social distancing actually worked, to wondering when they would be able to see their families and friends in person again.
One day, in the middle of all this stress, my family was sitting on our deck looking out at the yard. Suddenly, my son stood up, went to the garage, grabbed a shovel, and started digging. The rest of us joined in, and three weeks later, we had built a fire pit. Looking back, that time was still incredibly hard, but I also remember how we came together as a family to create something that we would enjoy for years.
Experiences like the firepit moment made me and my research team curious about how people can still feel good even in the middle of an overwhelmingly bad situation like a global pandemic. Past research has tackled this question in one of two ways: asking people how they generally feel about difficult events or tracking their day-to-day feelings during stressful times. Both approaches show that people can experience some positive feelings about mostly negative experiences, but they don’t really explain how that happens.
To explore this, we started with the simple idea that stressful experiences—especially long, complicated ones—are not just one big “bad” thing. They have many different parts or aspects. For example, the pandemic brought fear, loneliness, and uncertainty, but also created moments of connection (like building a firepit or virtual game nights) and the chance for personal growth (like learning to garden or picking up golf).
To test this idea, we asked people during the pandemic to think of a recent pandemic-related situation that they were currently dealing with and to list either 4, 5, or 6 parts of it. Then they rated how positive or negative each part felt. As expected, most people rated the majority of the parts as negative. But when they had to list more parts (say, 6 instead of 4), they were also more likely to include some positive ones. In other words, when people first started thinking about a stressful situation, they focused on the bad parts. But as they kept going, they often came up with positive parts too.
Next, we wanted to know whether thinking about these positive aspects actually makes people feel better about the situation overall. In another study, people again thought of a pandemic-related situation, listed six parts of it, and rated how positive and negative each one felt. This time, we measured their feelings after they described their stressful situation (when they might be feeling bad about it) and then again after they listed the parts of it. We found that people who listed more positive aspects of their situation felt better afterward than those who listed fewer. Even in a difficult situation, taking the time to notice the bright spots improved people’s mood.
Taking it a step further, we wondered whether going beyond just noticing the good parts by actually elaborating on them might give people an even bigger emotional boost. In two more studies, we asked people to think of a stressful situation they were currently dealing with and, again, list different parts of it. This time, though, we had some people try to make themselves feel better by thinking about one of the positive parts in more detail—by thinking about things like how it happened, who was there, and how they felt. What we found was striking: When people took the time to think more deeply about a positive side of a stressful situation, it gave their mood an even bigger lift, beyond the initial boost they got from just noticing something good in the first place.
What does this mean? Stressful situations are complicated, and often just plain hard. It doesn’t mean that people should ignore the negative, or act like things are fine when they are not. But it does mean that, even in the middle of stress, uncertainty, and loss, there may be glimmers of good. When people take the time to notice and reflect on those bright spots, they may feel a little better just when they need it most.